Monday, 12 September 2011

So what, now what... (1)


Elizabeth was the girl with everything: good looks, high and active intelligence, and a wealthy family. Beyond these advantages, she bubbled with life, she loved people and people loved her.

She was confident after the final school exams, relieved they were over. All those years of school finished now, the excitement of university, a career, a family, travel; these things were hers to choose. But tonight was a night for letting her hair down, so Elizabeth was happy to join her friends as they drove off to celebrate.

No-one accused them of drinking to excess, or speeding, although they did have too many passengers in the car. Put it down to youthful exuberance and lack of skill. Elizabeth, sitting on her girl friend's lap, unrestrained, was thrown forward by the impact, and snapped her neck at the fourth vertebrae. She would be lucky to live. Or perhaps unlucky in the eyes of some, because she would certainly never walk again, would spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair, would have minimal control over her body functions, would require constant attention and nursing.

She was a road victim.

“I didn’t need you to tell me that everything in my life, even this, was there because I chose it. Not that I believe that, of course, it just seemed to be the only productive belief to choose. It got me off my grief and anger and denial, and from that moment life got better, not worse.

“I prayed a lot, and everything changed when I changed my prayer from ‘Why me?’ to ‘Show me!’

“I mean, it doesn’t seem much of a life, does it, in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, my body has spasms that exhaust me, I am totally dependent on other people. So I could sit here and be bitter, and gather people around me who sympathise with my plight, and blame my friends for what happened; and I did that for a while. But that’s a pretty dark, narrow dead end, it leads nowhere. What happened, happened. And I really got pissed off with people treating me like this poor victim, and they were pissed off with it too, and embarrassed. They thought I was helpless.

“The only way forward is to take responsibility for it and for the future. So choosing to believe that I chose it gave me the power to choose the future. Choosing to believe that it was the best thing that could ever happen to me, because I chose it out of love and wisdom for myself, gave me the power to look at the future positively, to look for the value in my situation.

“So I concentrated on what I could do, not what I couldn’t, and now look at what I can do! I live in a world of can do, not can’t do. People talk to me about what I can do, not what I can’t do, and we all get excited about it. I live an exciting life.

“I’m insane, aren’t I, to think like that! But it works for me. And the more I choose to believe it, the more I believe it.”

Elizabeth has very little control, even movement of her body below the neck. She has learned to work her wheelchair by knocking the controls, by moving her hands a few centimetres, which is all the movement available to her. With the same movement she paints.

Her paintings are full of wonderful movement. She illustrates books and win exhibitions, and nowhere is it mentioned that she is a quadriplegic. Her paintings stand on their own merit, Elizabeth pours life into them.

Elizabeth chooses a life of beautiful expression that most of us believe to be beyond us. She is an artist.

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